Independence has been both a defining element in my personality and life history as well as a hinderance to my lifestyle and mental health in later life. Honestly, I never felt like I needed anyone since I was 17. That was the result of five years of childhood/adolescent trauma and a broken heart (another story). […]
The recent eruption of Kilauea gave us a bonus. Beautiful sunsets as the sun reflected off the undersides of the sulfur dioxide.
Poison can be beautiful Read More »
I came across this beautiful, old tree and noticed that a large rock was embedded in the trunk and was carried up as the tree grew over the past 50 years. It grew in an incredibly hostile environment. There is no soil on this side of the island, only a type of regolith as found
We Live, change what we can, and accommodate. What else are we going to do? Read More »
I received a comment from a good and close friend who said that my last post was “nice and heartfelt.” That’s when I knew I was, at the time of that writing, full of shit. A little history. I’m going through a divorce. Average Goldy Locks divorce – not too nice, not to harsh. But,
The blog is dead, long live the blog Read More »
In my quest for better mental health over the past 57 years I have tried talk therapy, Reichian Therapy, cognitive behavioral therapy, group therapy, deep dives into Alcoholics Anonymous, and at least a dozen psychotropic medications. This is not to mention almost every street drug and scotch whiskey I could get my hands on. I
Live in the now and leave it in the now Read More »
Last night was a crucible of existence for me, and that is no exaggeration. I experienced a replay of all the grief, loss, loneliness, and hopelessness I had ever felt during, it seems, my entire life. The utter loneliness and despair of a widowed man, after a death of mother, father, suddenly an orphan, even
50 Years Depressed I was speaking with my good friend, Kerry, and was reminded of riding a motorcycle with her on the back, holding me around my (at that time) flat stomach. How long has it been? Have I really been in a spiritual coma for 50 years? The thing about being insane is that
50 Years Melancholy Read More »
This is Mount Hood in 2009 taken at three times during the year from the Salmon Creek Trail. Salmon Creek flows directly from Mt. Hood to the Columbia River. I used to ride the trail several times a week. It was my one activity that got me out of the house and out of my
Death, life, and hope: The First Flower of Spring I sincerely hope a first-time visitor to this blog will not judge my photographic skill according to this simple image. The composition is weak. It tells no story, unless you are reading this text, and the purpose of a photograph, to me, is to tell a
The First Flower of Spring Read More »
The Road to Perdition This is Highway 374 leading down into Death Valley. This portion consists of miles and miles of straight blacktop from Beatty to the border between Nevada and California. At that point, it twists and dips down into Death Valley itself. Death Valley held important meaning for me in mid-life. I was
The Road to perdition Read More »